I've been waiting years to get my revenge on Tim Stratton, the guy who watched my parakeet drown. Now I'm one step closer.
Most people would probably just sue the guy, or beat him up, or move on and get a new parakeet. Any bird that can't even fly out of the water must be a pretty crappy bird. But that would be letting him off easy. No, my path to vengeance runs right through this Lethal Threat Half Devil Ski Face Mask.
You see, Tim is now a Born Again Christian. He is not the same sadistic S.O.B. how laughed at me after the death of my beloved. What do Born Agains fear? The Devil. The good fellas at Leather Threat must have had me in mind when the created this 2011 ½ Devil Ski Facemask because there is nothing scarier than this mask.
Now I'll hire a detective, find out where Tim lives, contact the Pastor at his church, anonymously send him front-row tickets, and put the spotlight on him while I preach a sermon about his role in my parakeet's drowning. Then he'll get fired from his job and have to move away to a new town under an assumed name while I ride off on my motorcycle wearing my Lethal Threat Half Devil Ski Face Mask. People will talk about it for years.
Oh, I guess I should get started writing that Sermon, too. I'm thinking I'll call it "Hey, You're That Jerk Who Let My Parakeet Drown."